Some things would not go as planned, but why does it have to be in this one? Is it too much if we ask for a rewind?
Life is a cycle of making choices and dealing with the consequences. And these consequences include both the good and bad ones. A person may suffer or enjoy it, but the bottom line is that they chose it and thus, wanted it.
Everyone has a dream: a dream life, house, car, title, university, or even a career. Come what may, we have to get it! Achieving what we have been yearning for has become our ultimate goal. That is why when the Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP) opened the application process for CAEPUP 2021, thousands of students took their chances.
A dream course at their dream university? That would be great.
Students were allowed to list their preferred programs: first, second, third, fourth, and fifth. However, we all know that half of them were only eyeing one program—the one they put on the first slot.
On the 25th of August, the list of CAEPUP passers in PUP Sta. Mesa Campus was released. Many students were devastated. Who wouldn't? They were admitted on their second to fifth choices rather than their top priority program. Thousands of dreams were shattered; failed aspirants shed countless tears, and everyone vented their disappointments and frustrations. The atmosphere was heavy and dramatic; for a brief moment, they might have mistaken themselves for Atlas, who was responsible for bearing the weight of the sky. It felt like their efforts to maintain good grades for two consecutive years had been in vain, as if everything they had done and sacrificed were all for nothing.
Indeed, life is a series of making choices and dealing with the consequences. Nevertheless, what if they suddenly have to give up 'something' they have been looking forward to after invesing so much on it?
Despite failing to secure a spot in their preferred programs, some students still decided to confirm the slot offered to them.
We encountered students with the same case at the Department of Economics. They accepted this invitation for an interview regarding their reactions to the results and why they included economics in their five choices.
According to Kyla Mae Bautista, 18, from BSE 1-1, “Noong nagsasagot ako ng application form may economics sub kami, nae-enjoy ko siya kaya nilagay ko siya sa choices ko, sa pagka-enjoy ko sa subject, feeling ko ‘yon lang siya. Pero noong nakita ko ‘yong sakop niya, ang lawak pala; ‘yon lang hindi ko siya priority talaga. Pero ayon ang binigay sa akin ng PUP, wala namang masama doon, tunog pang-matalino raw sabi ng pamilya ko, plus hindi naman ito ibibigay sa akin kung walang plano si Lord sa akin sa path na ito.”
After emphasizing that she didn’t consider her situation, getting admitted in Economics a failure, but rather a blessing, Bautista added, “Dream school ko kasi PUP so para sa akin, kahit anong i-take ko, as long as sa PUP ako, okay lang ako gano’n. Umiyak ako kasi BSBA FM talaga [ang] gusto ko pero may thoughts din naman ako sa utak ko na ayon, kung para sa akin para sa akin talaga.”
On the other hand, Glayzel Ann Dela Cruz, 17, from BSE 1-4, expressed her thoughts and feelings after seeing the CAEPUP results, "At that time, I was totally confused and sad. I didn't treat it as redirection at first, I feel like I have already failed myself, and I didn't have a chance to fulfill my dream. Kasi I was blinded by the thought that time na ang greatest dream ko ay maging CPA. Ayon, I am sad and masking it by being playful and naughty sa mga kausap ko. Parang ‘yong lahat ng plano at pangarap na binuo mo, biglang nabasag lahat sa harapan mo tapos hindi mo na alam [ang] gagawin. I just stared at that broken dream until I cheered myself up and think na baka redirection 'to, na baka mas deserve ko 'yong course na Economics."
Nobody expected this to happen; it felt like they had been surprised. However, they are one of those people who despise surprises and spontaneous events.
Thus, expecting that our initial reaction was a disappointment, it is natural to grieve: clench our trembling hands into fists, cry and scream in extreme desolation. Everyone's feelings are valid.
However, some people love to think about all the possibilities. These people always expect a negative experience to occur, so they are already prepared when it happens.
Raissa Igot, 18, from BSE 1-2, explained how she handled the said redirection, “At that time, medyo na-sad lang ako pero I’m a kind of person kasi na hindi siya ico-considered a failure since noong nilagay ko siya sa options ko, iniisip ko rin yung possibilities na matatanggap ako, at the same time kung ano ‘yong pwede kong gawin in the future..,” Her first choice was BS Management Accounting but she also looked into other programs that were closely related to it.
Undeniably, we cannot always get what we want. Life is not always about fresh air and great sanctuaries or fireworks and city lights. Sometimes it is about how they overcome being alone in an empty place, watching the sky as the streak of lightning splits it, and hearing the deafening thunder right before the vicious storm. Either they'll get soaked and wait for the sun to rise again, or they'll roll with the punches and make an alternative shelter for themselves so they can avoid getting sick.
“Plano ulit. Mahirap siya sa una, pero hangga’t may mga tao naman sa likod mo na naniniwala at sumusuporta sa’yo, kakayanin mo.” – Kyla Mae Bautista, BSE 1-1, on how she managed to move forward after realizing that she has to plan again.
“Syempre, since hindi naman lahat ng gusto mo sa buhay ay mangyayari agad kaya kailangan dapat may back-up plan ka. For example, kung magpe-present ka ng presentation or magpapasa ng dissertation, hindi lang naman isang flash drive gamit mo ‘di ba? May mga back-up plan ka pa sakaling hindi gumana ‘yong isa. Rather na isipin ko na negative kasi, iniisip ko na hindi ako matatanggap mas magandang isipin ko na siya agad para hindi ako ma-disappoint and ready na ako sa haharapin ko.” – Raissa Igot, BSE 1-2, when asked for her reason on being open to the possibility of her plan being unsuccessful.
In order to learn more, we have to fail. Failing will shape us into someone solid and bold—it will help us improve. Bigtime.
As Mark Manson wrote in his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK, "Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you have failed at something." Perhaps, where we are right now is where we will truly grow. Sometimes, we might not realize it immediately, but the options that we genuinely deserve are those we tend to ignore.
Moreover, in this chapter of choosing among the options, what if our first choice is not our best choice?
Glayzel Ann Dela Cruz, from BSE 1-4, shared the things she learned from the application process until now that she is an economics student. "Ang natutunan ko talaga is I need patience, and I have to believe in myself. I learned that I am in this place, time, and situation for a reason. Maybe I need to accomplish something. Some things will not go as you please, so you need to create new goals and plans, no matter how small it is."
Everyone has a dream: a house, a car, a title, a university, or even a career. Come what may, we have to get it. Achieving what we have been yearning for has become our ultimate goal. However, it is undoubtedly true that some things will not go as planned, and this is one of those unfortunate circumstances.
Everyone is entitled to request a rewind button. However, the question is, will you have the courage to press it?
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Written by: Daisy Mae Conception Layout and Design by: Cris Cudal and Dan Kurt Buenaventura
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